Lumberjack 1.0
April 1, 2002
Lumberjack 1.0 is now complete. This is by far the best web logging engine ever! Good bye blogger.com! Good bye Movable Type! You have met your doom! Features available in the 1.0 release:
- Insta-log(tm) technology! Lumberjack's advanced AI (Artificial Intelligence) scans your brain activity for thoughts which have a positive correlation on the Interest Index Database(tm) for your readership and posts them instantly! No more typing or visiting your page. Also, Lumberjack can help you remember thoughts you forgot you had! Lumberjack++ can also generate intelligent commentary to your posts.
- Troll-a-way(tm) Anti-trolling System(tm)! Based on patented technology, Lumberjack performs semantic, Intent-Oriented(tm) analysis of all comments, instantly removing all trolls!
- Instant translation to more than 432 languages including l33t, josh, anseror and pretentious.
- CLD (Cool Like Dave, tm) automatic page design technology. Now your page can have lots of white space, scrawl-ly fonts, and retro pop icons!
- Lumberjack can be viewed in mind boggling 3D!!! See your page from almost any angle (only available for angles < 2-pi radians)!
- Finally, Lumberjack supports full conversion from Microsoft Word documents.